Part 3 - How To Maintain And Grow Your Amazing Relationships (My Amazing Relationships)
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The resulting discussion is what takes effort. When it comes to relationship questions, quality is more important than quantity. The goal of asking these questions is to get meaningful answers that help you improve your relationship.
If that happens, try not to let your emotions get the best of you. Instead, seek out solutions. Some questions should be saved for special places.
Grow Healthy Relationships, Part 3
Even more important than where you are is when you are. Pay attention to the intricate nuances of your relationship, and ask relationship questions at opportune times, when it feels right. Read through these questions to ask , and pick a few that really speak to you and your relationship. Store them in your brain files so you can pull them out when the time is right. Pro tip: In a pinch, you can always duck to the bathroom and pull them up on your phone.
33 Relationship Questions – Quickly spark great conversations.
Now that you have plenty of questions for couples on deck, the next step is asking them. Start here. This post contains affiliate links what is this? Share 9. Pin Conversation Starters. Get To Know You.
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And the shame monster grows mightier in its ability to control you. You forget that you were struggling to stop yourself and you only see the shame monster in the mirror. But you have no control. I also know that there is a lack of good care in a lot of countries and small towns. I have been there myself — and that makes me very sad to know it happens to you, too. I believe there is someone who can help you — you must continue to seek it out. I would say get even more aggressive about seeking out treatment — I wish I could bottle my therapist and give her to the world — she changed my life.
Think of it as a way for you to begin to collect research FOR your starting point in your self-work. I want you to begin to ask yourself: What wound is this? What is crying out to be examined? What are the danger zones? Where are you when this happens most? For example, I had my triggers during the day in an empty house, when I felt alone. A friend of mine had hers when it was dark out early in the day. It reminded her of when she had to go home afterschool and he dad would be there all crazy and drunk.
So begin to mark down the details of when you are most triggered. Keep a detailed account and look for any consistent patterns. What time is it? Where are you? Is it a location? A type of situation? What emotion are you feeling? What does that feeling remind you of?
Simple Ways to Keep Your Network from Growing Cold
What age does that feel like? In the moments you feel the tiny stirring inside of fear or guilt — the emotions that feed the shame monster — I want you to begin a practice of calling the feelings out — on paper. Let the emotions and all the fears and the weird crazy stuff take on a physical form in black and white. Keep doing this. When you write about this feeling I want you to let it ramble — train of thought.
It might just be scribble that you can barely tell make up words. The purpose behind this is that when you write something, you remove its power — you bring it out of your insides and you put it into the present external world. But as often as you possibly can — write down all the feelings you have when you begin to get fearful. As a general habit — regardless of the trigger moments, journal to yourself. Look at yourself in broad daylight. Reduce it to what it is: a thought. This miracle pill is the only thing you need to start helping yourself. Do it whenever you hurt and feel hopeless or powerless.
Book yourself into a 12 step meeting. Go to an exercise class. Schedule a therapist appointment.
24 Simple, Quirky Things You Can Do To Show Your Partner You Love Them
Whatever you do — STOP the indulgence in the shame and self-loathing, because that validates it. Set up a list of these types of positive actions for yourself ahead of time so that you can just spring into action when your wits are not about you. This is my work-out assignment for you!
What you want to begin to know or identify, is that during the times when you feel triggered or upset — and you would normally act out or bury your feelings, you can instead WITNESS them going on inside you — just watch them yelling or thrashing inside, and do nothing about them. You are not your thoughts and feelings, but when you react, you allow them to control you. Most of the time when we have powerful feelings we feel helpless against, we feel that we cannot change our reactions — when in reality, we just need to hone our ability to pause before doing anything. But no matter what it is, there are others who have faced the same thing and surpassed it — there are people who are weaker than you, less intelligent — with less resources.
You are already on your way. You are not more broken than others or alone in your suffering. YOU will be the author of how you choose to integrate your darkness with the higher self. You get to choose how you want to address the feelings, and how they are allowed to change your life. And yes, it can be incredibly scary — not to know whether or not others will accept you or still love you through your growth. All you can do is start to work on yourself for them, and for you. This act comes from the best place possible.
The fear of the outcome is a thousand times worse than the outcome. It loses its bite. Everything in life becomes simple around that truth. You get to choose how you want to integrate each emotion or impulse into your life. You get to decide who you choose to be, from your highest self. The self-abuse of lying is like a stab through the heart of anything good you might have felt about yourself.
It is from the place of honesty and openness that new windows open for you to grow into a different person — a person you love. Who you are proud of. Who you can trust. So just begin this process for the sake of gaining inner peace — and at the very least — forgiving yourself.